If someone is borrowing $12,000; and plans to pay it back at approx $200 a month, plus 1% interest... how much would the payments be?

She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the silence, "I think I'd throw up."

DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"

THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter.

Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.

On the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was very nervous.

When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all I need to know."

BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"

The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"

ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelly, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).

For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelly would say,"And all girls." This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing.

My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelly, why do you always add the part about all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody else always finishes their prayers by saying 'All Men!"

SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served.

When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away.

"Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I don't need to," the boy replied.
"Of course, you do his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house, and she knows how to cook."
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Slow Cooker (Crockpot) Beef Stroganoff

2 pounds beef stew meat
1 cup chopped onion
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) condensed golden mushroom soup
1 can (10 3/4 ounces) cream of mushroom soup
1 Lipton Onion Soup pouch
1 tub of fresh sliced mushrooms (two cups or so)
Fresh ground black pepper
1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, cubed
1 container (8 ounces) sour cream
6 cups hot cooked noodles or rice

In 3 1/2- to 4 1/2-quart slow cooker, mix beef, onion, soups, mushrooms and pepper.
Cover and cook on low heat setting 6 to 8 hours or until beef is very tender.
Stir cream cheese into beef mixture until melted. Stir sour cream into beef mixture. Serve over noodles or rice.

Makes 8 servings

CHUNKY MONKEY CAKE (CD Kitchen)

3 ripe bananas
1 box yellow cake mix
1 1/3 cup water
3 whole eggs
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup chopped walnuts
1/2 cup chocolate chips
chocolate frosting

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Spray 2 (9 inch size) round cake pans with cooking spray.

Peel 2 bananas and mash them up in a bowl. Add cake mix, water, eggs and oil. Beat on low speed of mixer until well combined, about 1 minute. Increase speed to high and beat until mixture is smooth, about 3 minutes.

Chop remaining banana into 1/2 inch pieces. Using rubber spatula, fold bananas, chopped walnuts and chocolate chips into cake batter. Divide batter evenly between pans.

Bake at 350 degrees F for 30 minutes or until toothpick inserted in middle of cake comes out clean. Cool in pans about 10 minutes. Remove from pans and cool completely. Frost cake with chocolate frosting, putting icing between layers

6 peaches, pitted and thinly sliced
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
1 cup coarsely crushed cinnamon graham crackers
3 tablespoons butter, melted

Instructions
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. Coat an 8-inch square baking dish with cooking spray.

2. Combine peaches and brown sugar in prepared baking dish.

3. In a small bowl, combine graham cracker crumbs and butter. Sprinkle graham cracker topping over peaches and bake 30 to 35 minutes, or until peaches are hot and bubbly. Serve warm

3 cups white sugar
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
3 cups all purpose flour
1 T. ground cinnamon
1 1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. cloves
1/2 t. nutmeg
1 T. baking powder
1 1/2 t. baking soda
20 oz. can of crushed pineapple, drained
2 cups chopped nuts
3 cups grated zucchini
1 T. vanilla

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a pan 12 x 17.

Sift together flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. In a very large bowl beat eggs and sugar until light colored. Mix in the oil. Then add the dry ingredients to the egg mixture, and beat for 2 minutes. Stir in the pineapple, chopped nuts, vanilla and zucchini. Mix well. Pour batter into prepared pan. Bake 80 to 85 minutes or until tester inserted in the center of the cake comes out clean. Cool. Frost with cream cheese frosting if you like. Makes 21 servings.

Sue

1 lb Macaroni or baby sea shells
1/2 c Chopped celery
1/2 c Carrots, finely grated
1/4 c Onions, finely chopped
6 Hard cooked Eggs, sliced
Paprika

Cook macaroni as directed; drain and cool.

Set aside 1 hard cooked egg; then stir together gently the cooked macaroni, celery, carrots, Onion and the remaining eggs.

DRESSING:
1 pint Miracle Whip
1/4 cup Vinegar
3/4 cup Sugar
2 Tablespoons prepared mustard
Blend together; then fold into macaroni salad mixture.

Garnish with the 1 hard cooked egg and paprika.

Yield 20 servings

Baked Chicken Supreme (Kellogg's)
A contemporary version of classic fried chicken, this entree eliminates the need for messy frying, but still delivers a tasty, crisp coating.

4 cups Rice Krispies (crushed to 2 cups)
1 teaspoon paprika
1 egg
3/4 cup milk
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1 teaspoon poultry seasoning
3 pounds chicken pieces, washed and patted dry
3 tablespoons margarine or butter, melted

Place cereal in shallow dish or pan. Stir in paprika. Set aside. In medium mixing bowl, beat egg and milk slightly. Add flour, salt, pepper and poultry seasoning. Mix until smooth.

Dip chicken in batter. Coat with cereal. Place in single layer, skin side up in shallow baking pan coated with cooking spray or foil lined. Drizzle with melted margarine.

Bake at 350 degrees about 1 hour or until chicken is tender, no longer pink and juices run clear. Do not cover pan or turn chicken while baking.

I think I've posted this before but it's worth repeating. I got the recipe from a recipe book my sister's club put out. It's so easy, and looks and tastes really good.

Picnic Cake

1 box yellow cake mix
10-15 large marshmallows (or use enough minis to cover the top)
1/2 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. chopped pecans

Prepare cake mix according to box directions and pour into a greased/floured 13x9" pan. Cut marshmallows in half and arrange, cut side down, on top of the batter. Mix brown sugar and nuts together and sprinkle over the top. Bake according to box directions.

This is a no waste adapted mayonnaise recipe that uses the whole egg instead of just the yolks.

Original Recipe Yield 16 servings
Ingredients

1/2 teaspoon dry mustard powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
2 tablespoons white vinegar
2 cups vegetable oil

Directions

In the container of a food processor or blender, combine the mustard powder, salt, eggs and vinegar. Set the food processor on medium speed and gradually drizzle in the oil while it runs. Transfer to a container with a lid and store in the refrigerator for up to two weeks.