Clippings by nina_md

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A Wal-Mart Customer ( funny)

posted by: oklamoni on 07.29.2006 at 09:20 pm in Kitchen Table Forum

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador retriever and was in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the hospital.

I said no. I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

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clipped on: 07.30.2006 at 09:17 pm    last updated on: 07.30.2006 at 09:25 pm