Clippings by kri_mack

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RE: Mother's Day & Step Mother's Day????? (Follow-Up #13)

posted by: kri_mack on 04.22.2008 at 01:47 pm in Stepfamily Forum

Am I unreaslistic and selfish?!?

I don't have any kids of my own, but I do have two young step-children. Last year I was hoping to have a small surprise (something that the kids had made for me with their father), but I got nothing, not even a 'thank you for everything you do for me and my kids' from my boyfriend. :(

I know I am not their mother, but it hurt not to be recognized on such a special day for all of my efforts thoughout the year. Is that unreasonable? I didn't mention anything to my boyfriend at the time, because I felt silly. But here we are again with another mother's day approaching...


My post regarding step-moms on mother's day
clipped on: 05.12.2008 at 02:36 pm    last updated on: 10.24.2009 at 06:07 am

Step-daughter comparing BM and SM

posted by: kri_mack on 10.24.2009 at 06:06 am in Stepfamily Forum

I just found out last night that my step-daughter (5 years old) has been comparing her mother to me (usually I would expect it to be the other way around, no?)...

Well you can imagine that BM is taking it pretty hard (with reason) since her daughter told her that I do everything better. I don't know what to do, I feel horrible that BM has to go through this (especially since she is a terrific mother). If the revers happens I have always just asked my step-daughter "do I look like your mom?" she would laugh and say no, then just accept the differences.

I find that my step-daughter is very smart (especially for a 5 year old) and she has mastered the art of manipulation to a T. For example she will ask her dad to pick her up, give him a big hug and kiss, then she calls my attention to them as if to say "he is mine" and it never bothers me, but I know that she is doing it on purpose to make me feel jealous. I wonder if she is doing this comparison of her mother and me for similar reasons???

Short of talking with my step-daughter and explain the impact she is having on her mother as well as the impact she is having on the relationship her mother and I have (which has been very positive to this point), I am not sure what we can do? Any ideas?


clipped on: 10.24.2009 at 06:06 am    last updated on: 10.24.2009 at 06:07 am

please help crisis at moms

posted by: kri_mack on 04.15.2008 at 05:53 pm in Stepfamily Forum

Hi there,

I am new to this forum and I have an issue that I would like some input on.

My boyfriend (Steve) is divorced and has two wonderful kids from his first marriage (a 5 year old boy; Matt, and a 3.5 year old girl; Melodie). We have been living together for about a year and a half and things are going great within our household (for your info: we have the kids at least every second weekend and two evenings each week for dinner and their bath, plus for special events and when their mom has meetings, etc...).

However last August the kids mother (Claudia) had her boyfriend (Dan; who has a 2 year old daughter that visits regularly) move into their house. At first things were great and the kids spoke of Dan often, then they slowly spoke less and less of him. Recently Matt has been giving his mother a hard time, he throws fits often, refuses to listen and just makes life miserable for everyone in his mother's house.

Today was supposed to be his first visit with a child pyschologist, but he through a fit and Claudia brought him to daycare instead and went to the shrink on her own (not sure why she would let him 'win' on this issue, but she did).

Keeping in mind that his parents have been seperated/divorced for over 2 years now, that both parents are very present in his life, both parents have a new partner that lives in his homes and that he will be starting school in the fall; so obviously there has been a lot of change in his life. Does anyone have any theories as to what is going on at his mom's place and what can be done to improve the situation?

Also, has anyone else experienced this sort of behaviour from their son or step-son?

If you need additional info just ask! Thank you!

Kristina (step-mom)


My story
clipped on: 04.22.2008 at 02:15 pm    last updated on: 04.22.2008 at 02:16 pm